My room is completely empty and cleaned out.
Before I started cleaning, the last thing to leave my room was my bed.
I laid across my sheets and looked up out my window, remembering the first time I laid on this bed in my new room and how thankful I was for the new season then (That was 26 months ago).
Today, I just laid there and cried.
I know change is a form of loss. And honestly, it’s hard. I just laid there with this image in my head of me holding all I’ve known and experienced, loved and cherished – holding it behind my back, not sure if I was ready to give it to God. And His arms were open, drawing me to Him, asking for me to give it to Him. Behind His back – a surprise – something far better, something I can’t see right now, something that’s a promise but isn’t tangible yet. Letting go of something good is hard.
This house is the first place I’ve felt planted and at home. I’ve gone through so much in this house, in this very bedroom, and encountered the Holy Spirit and His presence in ways I never had previously. I learned how to worship here. I learned how to have faith for anything regardless. I poured out my heart to God in countless tears and laughs. I really grew so much.
And so I cried and cried, and then the Lord said, ‘Rise up, My daughter. I have so much more for you.” Through my sobbing, I sat up and just worshipped Him. Because when you’re leaving familiarity and entering into an unknown season, it’s out of your control, and all you can do is worship Him – because HE is true to His character and will keep His word to you.
We weren’t meant to stay in the same place. We were meant to discover new lands and take ground for God’s kingdom. With uncertainty, discomfort, and new places and new people we grow in different ways and we encounter God in new ways. I learned from a bible study called Experiencing God, ‘you can’t stay where you are and go with God at the same time.’
The cloud has lifted, He’s leading me elsewhere, and I will follow Him because He is trustworthy.
“We don’t wanna stay where we have been
We’ll set our sails to catch Your wind…”
- Set Our Sails by Bethel